A calling of a different nature

So, I have to confess, I have had a sort of existential crisis ever since Flock Talk last week.

At the end of my story on Colt Lyerla, I said that we should care everyday.

Afterwards, I had to ask myself honestly if I were acting in the manner I described. Did I care every day? Was I doing anything to make the world a better place?

Some will say that the mundane makes the world a better place. Good parenting. Working. Being a good husband.

While there is some truth behind that sentiment, that really does very little to help the world. It helps myself. It makes me feel good about myself without taking any risk.

I have a gift. I have a voice that I can express through the written word. But I write about sports. Very rarely does anything I can write have any true impact. Oh sure, on occasion I can write a piece that might have social relevance, but that is not often and it is a very fleeting moment in time that is quickly forgotten.

The next day in the sports world there is always another story.

As I have contemplated just how I could take whatever gift it is I have been possessed with and make that gift count, I have been quite miserable at times, and barely tolerant at others. I felt like a hypocrite. I wrote eloquently about caring and here I was with my head in the sand.

I struggled with the fact that some people who I considered hypocritical were more involved with helping society than myself. Sure, they could be doing it for the notoriety and to keep their names everywhere. After all, I consider most of us that choose to write somewhat narcissistic. More so for those that are in multiple mass media outlets. Nonetheless, they are making a difference.

Today, after struggling for several days and contemplating where my future lay in terms of writing, football and the Ducks, out of the blue, I received an invitation to make a difference.

I cannot divulge everything, but I am excited as I think there is a story to tell that can have an impact. This is not a football story. And the happy endings are not the stuff of Hollywood.

But the struggles, pain, confusion and subsequent healing are truly inspiring. And that is the word I feel today. Inspired.

I am excited and looking forward to this challenge. It will be a challenge because the story is a heart-wrenching tale and I will have to dig deep to really make this story profound on a level that helps.

But this challenge lay ahead of me and I am excited again!